Never knew
Of what you could be
Never knew
That I would succumb so completely

In that crook that could mean nothing but a warm body
That I would find a world never imagined.
It fills the throat and chokes
It tangles in hair and holds firm
Eyes fighting to open
To see every facet of a being.

Never knew
Of what I was.
Never knew
A shoulder told so much.

A casual touch, a habit never consciously harbored
Eliciting a need to control I never knew I garnered.
A firmer grasp, hold tighter, hold harder.
The clench and despair and a gag on sensation
Addiction revealed in desecration.

Never knew
Of this affliction’s existence
Never knew
I’d find you in repentance.