Thoughts and ramblings as I do my best to figure out this writing thing.

If this comes out sounding poetic, it was unintentional and if that’s a problem, screw you. I’ll tell you about myself by telling you what I do and don’t know and what I’ve learned along the way.

I know happy childhood memories. I know how to wonder like a child and I know how to make believe. I know what it feels like to see and hear things that you never should have. I know what it is to sneak, and I know what it is to do things you know better than to do. I know how it feel s to miss somebody you never knew. I know what it is to watch someone so close to you hurt so bad. I know hurt. I know what it is to be broken down for who you are. I don’t know what it is to be physically beaten, but I know how it feels when the world lets you down and turns its back on you. I know what it is to hurt myself. I know how it feels to hurt others. I know how it feels to live with guilt.

I know what it is to feel alone. I know what it is to fear a man. I know what it is to fear those most trusted in your life because after all, what are they capable of? I know betrayal. I know shame. I know how it is to throw yourself into the superficial high of drugs. I know how it feels to want to get out, but not understand how. I know how it feels to lose close friends. I know what it is to throw yourself into bad situations, seeking comfort, only to come out bruised and more broken than before. I know that words can hurt. I know that words cannot be unheard.

I know where I might have ended up otherwise. I know that even in dark times, with a little effort and the imagination of a child, you can find happiness in all things. I know how it feels when you meet the one man who doesn’t make you afraid. I know motherhood. I know love. I know life is beautiful. I’ve known the yearning for a child that wasn’t mine to yearn for and I know the pain that ensued. I know heartbreak. I know what it is to build yourself up and strive for the future again.

I know that we cannot judge one another for who we are because we are all the same. No matter how righteous you are, religious or not, we are all on the same level. I know we all eat, we drink, we sleep, we laugh, we cry, we learn, and I know we love.  We use each other, we lie, we screw, we take others down to build ourselves up only to destroy our own selves, and we sin. Every single one of us. I know it makes no difference if you are gay, straight, lesbian, transgender, black, white, jewish, islamic, christian, or any label society puts on us. I know we are human.

Welcome to my blog. I hope you follow and I hope you enjoy.